Life Lessons
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Ode to a Lost iPhone (A Poem)

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(Graphic: Kat Borosky/TueNight.com)

It’s morning in Chelsea
I have but a selfie
to show where you might last have been.

I’ve scanned all the garbage
Peered under the cushions
I love you like dearest of kin.

Are you in the dryer?
Looked lower and higher
In search of my wee data fix.

Seems my 5S is gone
I’m such a moron
Maybe I now buy a 6?

I lost all my contacts
My apps are for naught
How can I now get an Uber?

Hailing a cab
Annoying and drab
Feeling like such a big loser.

How ’bout the cloud?
Oh, I was too cheap!
to cough up for additional storage.

Hubris, my friend
You got me again
Please now talk me down off of this high ledge.

Hey — I never claimed to be a poet. Although poetry writing was my major in college. Whatever. Just read on, phone owner.

My license allows
(poetic that is)
To above say some technical fallacy

Of course I have back up
to prevent for the lack of
my iJunk but oh now-you-see

How punished a girl
(a person, to wit)
Can feel by the loss of a phone

To keep track of my gear
and prevent such bad fear
I may need a personal drone.

So watch with the booze
Or else you shall lose
This thingy that keeps you connected.

Use ‘Find My Phone’
And don’t be a bone (head)
Then you won’t find yourself so affected.

Filed under: Life Lessons

by

Jody Jones

In her 20-year media career, Jody has held executive editorial and business roles at Martha Stewart Living Omnimedia, Scripps Networks Interactive (Food Network; HGTV), Time, Inc., Discovery Communications and AOL. An avid marathoner and Pilates instructor, Jody also enjoys her roles as a PANK (Professional Aunt, No Kids) and mother to her fabulous furry daughter (beagle/bulldog), Janey. Follow her on Twitter @JodyJ.

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