Author: Kristy Krivitsky

I Spy: How a Simple Game Ignited My Senses

When I was a kid, I was sick all of the time and missed many days of school. I almost got held back in first grade because I was absent more days than I attended that year. I don’t remember the actual sickness too much, but I do have memories of spending time in the doctor’s waiting room with my mother. “I spy something yellow,” she’d say. “Is it the chair?” I’d say. “No.” “Is it the doll’s dress?” “No.” “Is it the flowers?” And so went this looking and guessing until what was spied was discovered. On the surface, this simple game helped to pass the time while we waited. But on a deeper level, it cultivated skills of observation and required us to open our senses and notice what was around us. This rooted us to the reality we were in, which, whether my mother knew it or not, is a useful thing to do during moments of stress. The technique is called grounding and I came to know it decades later in …

How Working on a 100-Year-Old Boat Gave Me New Life

If you’ve ever driven on the Brooklyn Queens Expressway between the Verrazano-Narrows Bridge and the Gowanus Canal you know that construction is an ever-present reality. The deck of this elevated section of roadway is being replaced with new reinforcement bars, concrete, wooden timbers and metal sheeting because it’s basically falling apart. I know this not because I’m an engineer or a construction worker, but because I collected piles and piles of scrap wood from the site as part of a volunteer job I had for five months. After being unemployed for the better part of a year, I was desperate to work and engage with people again. Searching through New York City’s government volunteer website I found a museum on a barge docked in Red Hook, Brooklyn that was looking for a museum docent. As a lover of that neighborhood and boats, it felt potentially like the perfect place to be. On top of that, I had recently been raped and needed to normalize my life. The water felt like a natural healing environment so I …

Baby Steps to Bravery: How I Finally Became Courageous

I left my husband after eleven years of marriage. We lived a comfortable life with money in the bank, good jobs, a nice house, a dynamic circle of friends, all within an interesting and livable town.  But I walked away from it all and when I did, people said I was brave. I came clean about my sexuality in the midst of leaving. Bisexual would be the culturally understood term to describe who I had known myself to be since I was a teenager, but that cold and lifeless word didn’t quite fit the heat of my reality. In truth, I was just plain sexual with people of any gender that I found interesting. But while walking down the street with my girlfriend, I was called brave. People thought I was crazy, but said I was brave when I quit my full-time job that provided me with a modest income, health insurance and most importantly, credentials. I could read it on their faces. Or perhaps those looks were a reflection of my own feelings about …