All posts tagged: Editor’s Note

April Issue: Ready, Set, SWAP!

Oh MY we have a jam-packed issue this week, friends. Because this week, we’re all about swaps — trades, pivots, shifts and changes big and small. And by the time you get to be a woman of certain age, well, you’ve probably swapped a bunch, by choice or otherwise. This week, we’re swapping careers, our age, our clothes, our shrink, our kids’ names and we have a beautiful piece about more of a transition: a mother shares the story of her child’s new name — and gender — on a brand new birth certificate. We’re sending out our issue early today so you can snag yourself a ticket and see most of these stories LIVE at TueNight Live. We’re also planning to have a real, live swap meet. I’m bringing three of my own items to trade — think Kajagoogoo, Shephard Fairey and colorforms. Curious? Come with your own swaps and find out. If you’re not in NYC and can’t make it, we’ll be Facebook Live-ing right here. And in other Facebook news, we’ve started …

Margit’s Note: Choose Your Own Adventure

I turn 50 in June. I’m supposed to be lying to you about that, but nah. How old am I? I’m this many. Five Zero. I’ve earned my stripes. How does one celebrate half a century? I’ve been to a few fabulous 50 birthdays recently (remember, when you turn 50, many of your friends do too) — karaoke in a dive bar; 100 people sweating it out in a studio apartment, witnessing a friend (via Facebook) leap into the sky. My husband reminds me that I partied a little too hard and puked at my 40th. I’d rather not do that this year. For this milestone, I think I’d prefer a few mini trips with close friends. I’m not the sort to heave myself out of an airplane or do a soul-seeking trek to Tibet — I’m a little major-adventure averse. I’m not even keen about driving a car, thanks to a decade-plus of living car-less-ly in NYC. But taking a long weekend to a new spot with one or two really close pals? That seems like a …

Margit’s Note: Cozy Up

Slide into the soft pants, wrap up in a blanket, put the kettle on, turn on some grooves and let’s find some comfort. The Danes have it right in their Hygge practice — which is now, for obvious reasons, all the rage. In these times when we feel uneasy about our world, we look for ways to soothe our bodies, soul and surroundings. Yet comfort isn’t just about the tactile — the hot bath or the warm hug — but your environs, your state of mind, your security, your sense of peace with yourself. “The most common form of despair is not being who you are,” said Kierkegaard. To find comfort is also to relax into our truest state — to find home. Music is my ultimate comfort drug. It envelopes me, moves me off my seat, soothes and is an instant mood changer. Scratch that; it’s better than any drug. While writing this, I’m listening to one of my most easy-breezy Spotify playlists. It has a West Coast soul vibe: “Strawberry Letter 23” by …

Margit’s Note: One From the Deck

This week, we’re throwing our cards in the air and running a theme that has no theme: WILDCARD. A wild card is, of course, a card that that can be used in any situation. So, whether you’re looking for a tale about love, loss, fights, kids, pets, parents or turning 50, we’ve got you covered in this edition.  It’s a grab-bag of awesome. A virtual variety pack of yarns. Ok, ok… We’ve even made a zany little Spotify Wild Card soundtrack to go along with your stories! Listen in here or here: This Week: Susan McPherson dates online after 50. (Did he really just text that?!) Ericka Kreutz’s kid punched another kid, and it might be her fault Amy Barr doesn’t want another dog…most of the time Deb Copaken shares the loss of her father with her sisters Nancy Davis Kho has a midlife (whatever) crisis And Dave Statman competes on Joker’s Wild — and wins a career. We’re wilding out, Margit

Darian’s Note: Are You My Mentor?

The word “mentor” used to make me feel uncomfortable. The idea of another person helping to guide my career in a formal way made me cringe growing up — but today I also cringed as I wrote that sentence. Because I realize now that my uncomfortable-ness was founded in nothing. In fact, my entire life, good people have been gracious enough to guide me through my passions, and I see that I wouldn’t be where I am without them. Now that I’ve been working in media for the past three and a half years (which is not long, but the 2016 election makes it feel like a lifetime), I understand how crucial women like Maria Stephanos, who taught me how to survive in a newsroom, or Kela Walker, who I’d Facetime to practice for an audition, are. Or Danyel Smith, who has really become more like a good friend. Or Yvette Noel-Schure, who welcomed me into her home when New York City felt less than welcoming. Quite frankly, there is no room to feel uncomfortable …

Margit’s Note: What Did You Just Say?

There is almost nothing that we can share with anyone — or anyone can share with us — that we haven’t already seen six ways from Sunday on our social feeds, the news, the TV or a phone alert. My husband and I will be laying in bed in the morning with our iPhones (I know) and I’ll say, “Did you see the…” He’ll interrupt, “Yes. I saw the BBC dad, Kate McKinnon as Jeff Sessions and what Trump said about….” Sigh. It’s depressing. Like, I want the glee of being the first to share Tank and the Bangas’ brilliant, innovative tunes with you. “Please, I knew about them, like last week.” Sigh. But there are still a few things in life that get shared the analog way, mouth-to-mouth, ear-to-ear; things people say in private; things we overhear walking down the street. Like the time that random person walked by my husband and me on a Brooklyn sidewalk, leaned in and just quietly muttered, “Asshole.” (We still debate the intended recipient of that moment.) And …

Margit’s Note: It’s a Flop!

It’s really hard running a website. No, it ain’t brain surgery, as a favorite colleague used to remind me at AOL (no comment). But even for someone who has a gazillion years experience running editorial teams for dot coms, there are days when you want to hit the big red “delete all posts NOW” button. It’s especially hard when it’s your baby. Your own creation. Your side gig. Your passion project. Your potential business. Your “Hey!! Look over here! Don’t you want to pay me to do this? You know you do.” Wink wink. Hip flick. Google Analytics tells you no one liked that “PETS” issue, you’re on your sixth Art Director (because your vision, their vision and your micro-manage-y approach has led to you making Picmonkey art at the last minute…more than once) and three people have unsubscribed from your newsletter. I speak theoretically, of course. The grind of a weekly publication is no joke. But then, the next sunshine-y day, you get a traffic bonanza for a meaningful essay, 50 people attend your …

Margit’s Note: Discretionary Dollars

We renovated our apartment recently and I look at my geriatric cat who has a penchant for puking or crapping on beloved sections of new carpet and I think why on earth ever spend money on any thing. Things are silly aren’t they? I mean, things do not bring us joy, no matter what Marie Kondo says. These days, I’d rather spend any “extra” cash that doesn’t go towards food, bills, laundry, doctor bills or this website on things that make a difference in my life and in other people’s lives. Experiences, travel, a trip to Austin with my friend Shelly for my 50th, giving back to people who need it. The state of our country has made me — and a lot of folks I know — regularly spend any extra cash on people asking for help, giving back to worthy causes, setting up monthly contributions, subscriptions to endangered newspapers and not as much on stuff. I can’t tell you the last time I bought a cute pair of jeans, and that’s saying something. …

Margit’s Note: Yearning to Breathe Free

We were going to do an issue called Love for obvious (Happy Valentine’s Day!) reasons. But then, as the news about the Muslim ban, immigrants — both legal and illegal — being detained or deported, refugees trying to find a home here in the U.S. started pouring in, we felt we had to do an issue about Immigrants. Plus, embracing those that just want a chance at a better life? Now that’s love. As Americans, every one of us has an origin tale, how our ancestors came to live in America and the struggles they endured — whether it was last week or hundreds of years ago; whether it was native-born, by boat or by force.  It’s not always a joyous story; more often than not dire circumstance brought us here. Thanks to my genealogist mother, I’m lucky enough to know a bit about the first folks in my bloodline who made their way to America, with the sole intention of eventually creating me. Ok, ok, they had other reasons too. There was Mennonite Jacob Detweiler, who was sick …

Margit’s Note: Wait! One More Thing

We are in the 11th hour of 2016 with 11 more days left. (I don’t even want to ask, “Well what else could happen in 2016?” because, heaven knows, a ton.) So what’s left to do? Did you send out your holiday cards yet? Well, DID YOU. No judgment. No panic. They can be New Year’s Cards….again. Look, there’s no shame in waiting until the last minute. This column is usually pieced together the day before or very often the day of. LIKE TODAY. You’d never know, right? Don’t answer that. Panic-induced inspiration can be a beautiful thing. Pondering and meandering left behind, you’re only left with the core task at hand and it must be done. And who cares if you bought those gifts on Christmas Eve; no one’s the wiser and you got it done, didn’t you? Good things can happen at the end of the year: You spend money on your health savings account, you give final donations to worthy causes (a few we might suggest), you tip your mail carrier, you …

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Margit’s Note: Nothing to See Here

Chances are when you hear the word “Censored”, you think of the PMRC, 1985, Tipper Gore, Frank Zappa, 2 Live Crew and the beginning of parental advisory labels — if you’re a Gen-Xer. If you’re under 35 you’re probably like, huh? It’s funny to think back on how little effect the PMRC ultimately had on shutting down artistic expression; you just have to watch a tv zombie get a spike through its eye or sing along with the “explicit” version of Nicki Minaj’s “Starships” to know we’re in a brave new world. We spent the night inside Sheena Easton’s coulda-been-censored  “Sugar Walls” and never looked back. Or, did we. (I mean, I didn’t. But anyway….) Censorship may have a shiny new banner. It was reported recently that Apple has developed new technology that automatically scans and removes swear words from music — and books. Of course that’s by choice, for now. Stand-up comics at colleges are being required to “keep it clean.” And as we watch social media grow in influence, we see governments try, try …

Margit’s Note: Darling, Your Manners Are Showing

At brunch last Sunday, in one of the quaintest, grass-fed-filled Brooklyn establishments, my husband and I asked for a refill of our coffee mugs. Smiling, the server speedily took away the mugs and replaced them with two “to-go” paper cups of coffee. We hadn’t asked for the check — heck, we weren’t even finished with our omelets. But without so much as asking us if we wanted them, she slid the paper cups in front of us. A not-so-subtle cue to hurry up and scram. This wasn’t the first time this had happened; pushing diners along is part of a growing trend to ditch civility and opt for turnover. The Washington Post wrote about this back in June, citing the trend of clearing before everyone was finished noting “restaurants have abandoned, or simply overlooked, a classic tenet of service etiquette.” Allow me to channel Andy Rooney for just a minute. (You don’t know who Andy Rooney is? SIGH. What are you doing on this site?? Harrumph.) What the hell is happening to good manners? And …

Margit’s Note: Games People Play

Stretched out on the shag carpet with your pals, you’re Operating. All eyes are on Kim, who is delicately attempting to pincer the Charley Horse, quivering and steadying when BLEEP! The nose is ablaze. HA! Let me show you how it’s done, SHAKEY. It’s the first time you ever talk smack. You feel a little bad about it. (Nah, not really — that’s 48-year-old you talking.) There will be more smack to come in life. On the field hockey field, getting in your opponent’s head and then losing. Dramatically. Driving to the away game explaining to your 10-year-old daughter that you can’t always win, but there’s something called sportsmanship. (Sportspersonship?) Or, you can’t always win, but you keep trying. Even when the other person is across the way waving their giant “Number 1” foam finger in your face, you don’t quit. You try to get better. And sometimes you have to wait for your “J-Mac” moment to shine. There are valuable life lessons in every game — whether played with a racket, a joystick or …

Margit’s Note: Voice Lessons

“It’s amazing how much you can get if you quietly, clearly and authoritatively demand it” That’s a great Meryl Streep quote I’ve had sticky-noted to my bulletin board for a while. At the time she said it (her Golden Globe acceptance speech for The Devil Wears Prada), she was talking about demanding more movie theaters to screen indie films… with an above-the-glasses, Miranda Priestly intonation. But she was also talking about “voice” — that the way we say something can substantially impact our desired outcome.  If I say this quietly, you might have to lean in and listen…. Our voices can also reflect our mood: When I’m pissed, passionate or trying to make a point, I tend to get loud and booming; when I’m nervous or scared my voice scrunches up into a crackly squeak, or doesn’t work at all.  Taking a tip from this week’s collection of public speaking advice, I’m now going to strike the power pose any time I have to say something substantial or feel a-feared. Hands on hips. Here’s what we have to say: Cheryl Botchick wonders if she’s too loud.Jody Jones likes to swear.Susan Linney interviews our friend, the voiceover artist.Nora York prepares …

Margit’s Note: Will You Be Mine?

Hello Friend. I miss you. We were attached at the hip for over a decade. You were my “plus one” at rock shows. I learned to love camping (even if I just couldn’t get with the rainbow hacky sacks). You had a kid, I didn’t. I stayed in the city, you moved to the ‘burbs. “Remember that time your cat projectile vomited on that guy who stayed over?” It still cracks me up. I see you every day over on FacePlace. But I haven’t talked to you in six months. Still, I know you’ll be there, and I’ll be here, after everyone else has left the party. This week we take a minute to celebrate our BFFs — the women who we’ll always be latched to, who own a large part of us, even if we’ve drifted away from each other and into our own little lives. This week on TueNight: Lauren Young shares the lifelong crew of 12 friends she’s maintained since preschool. Stacy Morrison is still making best friends in her 40s. Go figure. …

38 Women Over 38 Who Inspire Us

  We’ve got your “30 Under 30” right here. No, actually, we don’t. With all of the “30 under 30,” “20 under 20” lists, we thought we’d do something a little different and honor some women on the flip side. In this special two-week issue, we’re high-fiving women who happen to be above the age of 38 and are doing amazing things with their lives (note: we still love you too 20-somethings). To that end, we asked our 25+ TueNight contributors and colleagues to select 38 women they are inspired by and tell us why — which makes this list a little different from most of the “Top 100 lists” that are out there. It’s wholly subjective, based completely on the person who nominated the listee. This piece came to life through the combined efforts of more than 25 authors  — all of whom are different, just like the women that make up this list. Our nominees are famous and not famous. They are trailblazers, laughmakers, rulebreakers, mentors and heroes. Someone our contributors simply admire. …

TueNight’s Best from 4 Months of Awesome

Give Tears for Fears a sandwich… After laughing over a gallery of ’80s musicians today (man, we’ll have what the Human League is having), a friend commented, “Feeling curiously old and young at the same time.” Bingo. That’s where we are here at TueNight. Stuck in the middle with you. A very good place to be. While it’s only been four months, we thought we’d share 12 of our favorite stories from 2013. How did we pick ’em? It wasn’t an exact science (although I did make a delicious spreadsheet). We tabulated based on page views and comments, but we also looked at the stories that defined our voice and diversity of perspective. Because if we have a goal here at TueNight, it’s to be a little messy. As Gen-X women, we’re not easy to sum up, categorize, scrutinize, organize or understand. And we like it that way. The Best of TueNight Dinosaur Jr.: On Entering the Puberty of Old Age. The story that kicked us off. Silly Things People Have Said To Me When I …