All posts tagged: Fertility

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Mother of One: The Fertility Choice That Changed My Life

I got married late compared to others I know. At 34, after several rejected proposals and broken engagements, it was finally time. We both wanted children, and, after a year or so, we began trying to conceive. I’d always thought I’d be a mother of three. Before I ever wanted to get married, I wanted to be a mom and three was the magic number in my head. We came up with first and middle names for both boys and girls. We quickly agreed on a boy name: Daniel Patrick*. The others took discussion. We settled on Zoe June and Luke Bradford. Thus began our four-year conception journey — and it was terrible. As a young woman, I was sick with ulcerative colitis and, after five years of illness, underwent a multi-stage, major surgery that left me with an abdomen full of scar tissue. As a result, nothing worked to get us pregnant. We went from “not trying” to “trying” to “charting and temping” to fertility doctors. We threw more money, time and science at …

Why Didn’t I Question 28 Years of Birth Control?

(Photo:Nancy Gonzalez/ TueNight.com) For much of freshman year, my fear of getting pregnant waged a battle with my fear of getting caught by my mother with birth control pills in my purse. I was a kid who had always played by the rules. In the Catholic household where I was growing up, secretly taking the Pill was beyond unacceptable. So what if I was living at college, hours away from home? Somehow, some way, I was sure she’d just know. And yet I knew that getting pregnant would be even worse in my parents’ eyes: Not only would God know what I was up to, but the neighbors would find out, too. That sealed it for me. After months of obsessing (and falling for the guy who would eventually become my ex-husband), I finally asked one of my roommates to drive me to her doctor’s office. I took my first Pill on our ride back to our dorm. I felt it catch in my dry, nervous throat. I read every word of medical fine print …

The 7-Year Prick: Chinese Medicine on Age & Fertility

(Illustration by Kat Borosky; Graphic: TueNight) Here are a few ways that classical Chinese medicine describes a women’s aging process once we get to, oh, about mid-century: “Our rich essence wanes.” “Our volume of precious fluids diminishes.” But one of the starkest might have been from my favorite Chinese medicine teacher in grad school: “Once you’re 49, your eggs are cooked.” Cooked! The class laughed. To be clear, this teacher lived through the Cultural Revolution. She was a medical doctor and acupuncturist/ herbalist in pre-revolutionary China, and had to start all over when she came to the States, ultimately becoming an amazing acupuncturist and revered teacher of Chinese medicine. She had a full head of white hair and wore stretch pants unabashedly. Every wrinkle is earned, each gray hair has a tale to tell. And she did not mince words. Back in my 30s I was among those amused in class. Now, in 2015, as I experience my own personal wanings and diminishings, it seems a bit harsh. I became a licensed acupuncturist and Chinese herbalist almost 13 …

Margit’s Note: Crack It Open

“The incredible, edible egg.” That’s just one of many ‘70s commercial jingles affixed to my memory bank. In fact, this ad for the American Egg Board was remade in the ‘80s, in the ‘90s, by some guy in a jingle contest and now Kevin Bacon is a spokesperson? “Nobody knows eggs better than Bacon.” (Really? Really.) But it’s true. An egg is a delicious scramble, the essence of fertility, frozen for later, dyed and collected in baskets of plastic green grass, and smells awful when rotten. For women, the egg is mythologized as our ultimate potential — the question of that potential dogs us from an early age, following us well past viability. Whether we want it to or not. Now, in our early-mid-late-whatevers, we’re watching a disappearing act. On a related note, society — and social media — is still shocked by the site of a woman’s reproductive mojo, as evidenced last week by Rupi Kaur’s photo. The Toronto-based poet took a picture of herself with a spot of blood and leakage, and posted …