All posts tagged: Ex-Boyfriends

Our Sad and Funny Last Night Together

Amy and her ex circa 1980. (Photo courtesy Amy Barr) We’ve all had a relationship that should have been over long before it actually was — the kind that had been running on fumes or suddenly became fueled by anger rather than love. That describes the last months of my last serious relationship before I met my husband. Despite the fact that there had been great attraction and affection for the four-plus years that we were together, my then-boyfriend and I eventually both knew it should end, but neither knew how to pull the plug. So the plug pulled itself. On our last night together, we attended the wedding of a mutual friend at the St. Regis Hotel in New York. It was a fancy affair, with endless champagne and other mind-altering substances flowing freely. I suspect we were both trying to push our unhappy reality out of our heads as we partied for hours and then stumbled upstairs to the room we’d booked. It was a long, long night. He felt awful and I …

The Two-Sided Story of a Break Up

The text message says it all. (Graphic: Nancy Gonzalez/TueNight) “When we were good, we were really good,” my ex told me recently. Occasionally, we still talk via text message. Usually sparked by a glass of wine (or three) on my end; a happy hour on his. So, I texted him back with a simple emoticon smile. Do I miss him? Of course. Just as I might miss a long-lost friend. He was dear to me; my bestie. I often say that. I miss my friend and I mean it. During this particular chat we make Beltway jokes. I can feel his smile and remember the way he used to sit next to me at a restaurant bar. His arm wrapped around the back of my chair as he leaned in and beamed. Everything was an inside joke and by the end of the evening the bartender was a member of our secret club. These bits of nostalgia (the ones where I am smiling and not crying while watching Love Actually) are far from how things …

Could I Remain Friends with My Ex?

Love hurts. So how do you remain friends with an ex? (Photo: Shutterstock) For my entire adult life, breakups have been horrible, often occasioned by infidelity and replete with things said that can’t be taken back. Merely mentioning the names of some of my exes often triggers a level of revulsion usually reserved for serial killers. And I’ve never remained friends with my exes. I have plenty of friends. Why pretend to still be civil to someone who hurt me? Ending my marriage was no different. Although cheating was not the cause of our separation, there was too much bad blood between us for my ex and I to maintain even a semblance of friendship. We tried co-parenting, but ultimately, it has been easier to go it alone than to try to force a co-parenting relationship on my ex, or — more importantly — on my kids. When I finally started dating again, five years after my divorce, my first serious post-divorce boyfriend seemed to be the complete package. My boyfriend was kind, considerate, and …