All posts tagged: Sobriety

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My Rock Bottom Came in a Pretty Dress and Heels

God bless the busted boat that brings us back.” — Jason Isbell, “New South Wales” Here’s what you should know about this do-over: Everything and nothing changed. In my 30s, I had everything I ever thought I wanted. I was a travel editor, catching planes and writing stories about the next great city or restaurant or artisanal cocktail. I had this fancy job, which I’d worked my entire life for, and a family and a home. But while I tweeted images of beach views and carefully plated food, I was also drinking a bottle or more of wine a night. Sometimes I passed out. Sometimes I couldn’t remember things, and I often had unexplainable bruises. By day, dressed in a pink shift dress and gold heels, I gave talks about nimble new media strategies. By night – it was another story. I drank to deal with my anxiety. I drank to deal with my physical limitations. I drank to deal with never “being enough.” I drank to slow my brain when I was enough. I …

Do Not Disturb (My Recovery)

It’s been six months since I last wrote a post for Bottles Down. I didn’t make a conscious plan to take a break. I didn’t stop because I feared I had revealed information too personal (that ship sailed back in 2011) or because I was bothered by the attention I received. In fact, I felt the exact opposite — the feedback I got was nothing short of astounding; never in my life had I felt such a consistent wash of concern, encouragement and hope as a result of something that I wrote. And even the criticisms were valuable — it’s important for me to be reminded that I can follow my heart and take risks, and that I won’t shatter if someone disagrees with me. Despite all of those positives, however, new ideas for this column would not come. Weeks passed, I had nothing. I attributed my dry well to severe writer’s block, something I’m STILL struggling with today (if I’m honest, even writing this post is painstaking). I’d never really understood the concept of …

I Used to Buy Booze as a Gift. Now I’m Sober. WTF Do I Do?

It’s funny, I once heard someone say how there are literally hundreds of words for the term “drunk” (smashed, sloshed, over-served, sauced, wasted, tipsy, tanked—you get the idea), but only one word for not being drunk — sober. And that kind of sucks, because the word “sober” doesn’t imply fun and frivolity. Rather, as the dictionary states, its alternative meaning is “having or showing a very serious attitude or quality.” But that’s just NOT true! Of course, getting sober is painful and certainly no walk in the park, but we are NOT a glum lot — people in recovery are funny, silly, clever and full of life. It sounds so incredibly cheesy (and I hate cheesy) but it’s true: the gift of sobriety is the most wonderful gift one could ever receive (in my opinion, at least). Thing is, you can’t give it to someone. As much as you can hope and help and try to point people in the right direction, it’s up the alcoholic to open her eyes, see her situation for what …