Margit’s Note: The Wife Issue
(Photo: Nancy Gonzalez/TueNight)
“This is my wife…”
At a cocktail party, the phrase is inserted before my name.
It says, “I go with this person.” Does it immediately imply I make casseroles and iron shirts? No, but roles have been identified and a claim has been staked. This is my territory, these are my Hawaiian Islands, there is a fence, watch out for the moat.
The word “Wife” is beyond loaded, as we’re exploring this week — and as we’ve debated for decades.
Personally, I struggle less with the word than with the activities it implies. And I don’t mean doing dishes or sewing buttons. After I got married, there was suddenly a ridiculous new assumption (not from my husband, mind you) that I would be the one to remember details and follow-up on things — birthdays, thank you notes, vacation details. People would suddenly connect with me about activities that had to do with both of us, or even just my husband. I was suddenly the Julie McCoy of our partnership. Little did they know, I will almost always accidentally direct you to Isaac’s bar instead of the Captain’s table. Does that make me a bad wife? No, just one that doesn’t have enough brain space to remember everyone’s dang birthday.
Here are this week’s Wifely tales:
- Julie Parr becomes a wife after ticking off everything else.
- Kathleen Warner would prefer not to be Mrs. Him.
- Kate Davis is finally allowed to become a wife.
- Jennifer Ha would like you to pick up after yourself, thank you.
- In Front to Backlist, Bethanne Patrick reviews literary wives.
- Amy Vernon ditches it all and goes to Vegas.
And from around the web, a few wife-related tidbits:
- Yesterday the concept was hot in the Twittersphere for an ill-conceived Nine West ad campaign touting the perfect-for-husband-hunting shoe. *Sigh* Miles to go…
- Someday the term wife might become a thing of the past as Millennials and younger generations are balking at marriage.
- We mentioned them before, but we’d be remiss not to point you in the direction of the feminist (yes, I said it) awesomeness that is Wifey.tv.
Till death do we part,
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