Margit’s Note: Are You Up?

I am too tired to write this editor’s note for our second SLEEP issue.

So I decided to delegate. You fancy folks call it “crowdsourcing.”

To that end, I posed seven very important questions on Facebook:

(Photo credit: Facebook)

The respondents numbered 50. Forty-seven women and three dudes. I cut it off there because it’s a nice number and time’s a-ticking. You snooze, you lose.

To outsource this even further, I enlisted to turn my Facebook post into a spreadsheet so I could easily sort the data. Perhaps this issue should have been called LAZY…

Nonetheless, the answers were fascinating-ish. Here’s what we uncovered:

Favorite Sleeping Position: Thirty-three (66%) of you are side sleepers. Six (12%) of you noted “always on the left,” and four (8%) of you noted “always on the right.” You four might want to read this article because apparently you’re doing it all wrong according to this very reputable site called OMGFacts. Seven (14%) of you are back sleepers, and one of those described her prone position thusly: “Flat on my back arms crossed like I’m sleeping beauty or Dracula.”

Favorite Sleeping Accessory: Fifteen (30%) of you have a favorite pillow, snuggie or “woobie” ? (no idea*). Several you are taking the Dr. Oz-ian advice to put that pillow between your knees, and I’m impressed. Many of you use earplugs or other noise-cancelling devices. There was one Fitbit and three cooling devices (fans and pillows), all year round. Seven (14%) of you sleep with critters. Sometimes it’s a cat on your head, sometimes it’s a $90 stuffed bunny you “bought for your son.” And seven (14%) of you say your husband or wife is your favorite accessory. Aww.

Bed Attire: Fifteen (30%) of you are all about the t-shirts, mostly with yoga pants and one with combat boots. Hmmm.. I give you the side eye. Eleven (22%) of you are buck naked; one of you partly so, er, I think: “Hoodie on top…Party on the bottom.” Seven (14%) of you wear formal pj’s and two of you more glamorous types wear a nightgown (lovely).

Regular, memory foam or Craftmatic? Most of you sleep on a regular ol’ mattress. Twenty-seven (54%) own beds from brands like Ikea or Sterns & Foster, and you like it FIRM. Nine (18%) are memory foamers. Three (6%) futons. One of you sleeps on a hammock (yes, that’s a guy). Mechanical beds, not a one.

Bed Size: Twenty-one (42%) of you are queens; 17 kings (34%) and 2 (4%) sleep on a full. One scolded, “These are rich people questions.”

Electronics in bed or verboten? Twenty-seven (54%) of you keep your electronics close. Some of you feel bad about that (“Yes, but in a shameface way”), some not so much (“Phone always in bed. He’s my electric lover. And I play video games in the middle of the night. Shhhhh.”), some not at all (“ALWAYS. What are you crazy?”). Eight (16%) of you will not allow it near your sleepy place, and six (12%) use it for an alarm only.

Three of you answered this survey from your iPhone while lying in bed, natch.

Finally, the dreams: Many of you are having stress dreams: You can’t find something, your forgot you were throwing a dinner party, you forgot to go to class, you are time-sharing an adopted baby — yikes! Six (12%) of you don’t dream at all.

Some of my faves:

  • “A squirrel stole my car, crashed it and insurance refused to pay.”
  • “Running on the beach toward a flying saucer that was lifting Frank Zappa and the Mothers up with its tractor beam.”
  • One in which (and I must paraphrase, it was long) Questlove licked her eyebrows.
  • “I was running away from murderers and fighting with my mom and then saw that we were getting an Arby’s right by our place! (I was actually sad when I woke up and no Arby’s.)”
  • And two of you dreamt about horses. Dream Bible that one.

So there you go. Thank you for writing this column for me. It was actually A LOT MORE WORK than writing a column so now I am REALLY tired.

If you weren’t in my unfocused focus group and would like to answer the questions below, please do! We’re also adding to our Facebook page.

Otherwise please enjoy this week’s delightful snoozers:

Back to bed,


** UPDATE! My sister informed me that a “wobbie” was first coined in the film Mr. Mom.

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