|All pandemic, I’ve had a “why should I wear any makeup” kind of attitude, but recently, looking at my dry, patchy, sun-starved skin, I started wondering if I shouldn’t actually take better care of this mug — get a better moisturizer and maybe throw on a little occasional Zoom-ready foundation. |
Then I discovered Sonia Valencia, a 43-year-old TikToker who talks about “mature” skincare and beauty. After devouring video after video about icing one’s face, why I should be using Vaseline at night, and the wonders of It cosmetics, I started taking notes and filling my shopping cart. Sonia’s core tips are pretty basic: SPF, SPF, SPF and drink tons of water (if you do nothing else.) She’s got a bit of a potty mouth — which I love — and ends her videos with “You’re welcome beetch.” But she also gives tried and true advice on her go-to concealers, mascara, brushes, and techniques.
You guys. I went bananas. I decided I needed a complete makeup overhaul — some of my makeup is, like, 10 years old. I bought concealer, two foundations (one and two), a primer, a bronzer, brushes, a rosacea-combating moisturizer, thermal spring water face spray, blender sponges, an eyeshadow palette (an eyeshadow palette? WHERE AM I GOING?) and, of course, roll-on Vaseline. I even bought a disco-silver Caboodle for my bathroom to organize my new stuff. A CABOODLE. What am I, 12? Blame a time where things feel untenable and dark — at least I can control my dark circles. OK, I will choose to not feel shame about this, but next time you see me I will look VERY pretty.
Thanks Sonia, you beetch.