The Secret Issue: Shhh…

By Margit Detweiler

We all have secrets.

I like to think I’m an upfront, transparent kind of gal, yet there are a lot of things I’ve never told anyone. Hey, what if I told you a secret right now?

Oh hell no, this is not that kind of post. 

A secret isn’t to be toyed with. It’s not some flitty, flighty gossip, it’s a long-held, deep and dark. We keep a secret because it has perceived power. If unleashed, it might impact others — or it might affect how they see us. 

Secrets can be good or bad. A friend tells you they are pregnant and to keep it hush-hush until she’s ready. A colleague comes out of the closet to only you, “Can you keep a secret?”

And then there are secrets that cause insurmountable pain — a secret love affair, a state secret that if unleashed would cause destruction. A secret recipe that if divulged would mean millions of people would know how to make my grandmother’s perfect chocolate pudding. Locked away.

In midlife we take stock of our secrets, we start to shed a few of them, realizing we’re much better off not carrying THAT around in our psyche, or that it wasn’t such a big deal after all. We become less secretive. We wonder why we ever kept it a secret in the first place? And then, we move on. 

This week we’re spilling the beans:

• Diane DiCostanzo wants us to stop keeping our financials on the DL

• Alison Mazer finds a secret lipstick lady in Long Island

• Hitha Herzog comes out of the conservative closet — and shuts the door.

• Joanna Briley learns a big family secret about her dad

We’ll have a few more “live only” stories tonight from Ada Calhoun on her big middle school secret, Doreen Oliver on the secret joys of having an autistic son and Mary Lee Kortes on people’s secret dreams of Bob Dylan (they’re mostly hilarious.). Hope to see you tonight! A few tickets are still available at the door.

I have a twin sister,

Margit

P.S. Just kidding

Originally Published April 30, 2019. Updated April 5, 2021.